What I Want To Be Now That I Am All Grown Up.

As a child, I had a very over-active imagination.

As a result, I had some pretty outlandish plans for what I was going to achieve when I grew up and became an adult.

img_0146.jpgI have officially been an adult for several years now and I am yet to achieve any of the goals that I set out for myself when I was five.

I haven’t written a novel (unless you count the Warrior Cats fan-fiction that I wrote when I was 13…) and I know from previous experience that I can’t be trusted to keep a house plant alive for an extended period of time, let alone five ponies.

I’m not famous and the closest I’ve come to going to space was the time I went to see Gravity at the cinema and paid £5 extra for an ‘immersive’ IMAX experience, which basically meant that my seat vibrated a little bit whenever Sandra Bullock was in the middle of an action sequence or an explosion.

What five-year old me didn’t realise  is that being an adult (aka. someone who is self-sufficient, responsible, financially and emotionally stable and just generally has their life more or less under control) can be a hard enough task in itself.

Nowadays, the goals that I set for myself tend to be slightly less outlandish.

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That being said, I do still want to write a novel set in space and that will make me very famous and give me the money to purchase an entire herd of ponies…

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out some of my other posts. For more blog posts and drawings, you can also follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

The Trials and Tribulations of Having Curly Hair.

I have thick, unruly, frizz-ridden, curly hair.

As a result, pretty much every day of my life has been a bad hair day.

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Deep down, I know that my hair has massive potential and I have spent my entire life trying to figure out how to style it in a way that expresses its true beauty.

Unfortunately, I still have absolutely no idea how to control it.

My hair is at its most tame directly after I step out of the shower.

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However, as my hair begins to dry, it starts to rebel.

HairIt has visions of a new better future for itself – a future in which it will rise up into a set of full, luscious, voluminous curls.

HairUnfortunately, by the time my hair has fully dried, this rebellion has deteriorated into something that it never intended or planned for.

HairIn my teenage years, I had a brief period where I genuinely believed that I could control my hair through the power of modern cosmetics.

I tried using a wide variety of hair serums, all of which claimed to eliminate frizz.

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Many of the serums that I used were even backed by scientists.

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Unfortunately, my hair gives zero fucks about scientist’s opinions.

‘Flawless’ isn’t a concept that it recognises.

In fact, my hair is probably the kind of natural phenomenon that would make scientists doubt their knowledge of the fundamental laws of the universe.

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If my hair is particularly unruly, I sometimes attempt to make it more manageable using various hair accessories.

Unfortunately, this rarely proves effective as my hair is on a mission to completely annihilate any hair accessory that attempts to subdue it.

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After years of struggle, I am now finally transitioning into a period of acceptance.

I have fought my hardest against my hair and have well and truly lost so I am now trying embrace it in all it’s frizz-ridden glory.

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out some of my other posts. For more blog posts and drawings, you can also follow me on Facebook, Twitterand Instagram.

How To Deal With Problems.

I like to think that I am quite good at solving problems… as long as they aren’t my own.

It is easier to solve other people’s problems because you are not so emotionally wrapped up in them.

As a result, it is possible to look at the situation in a from a neutral perspective and come to a solution using the powers of reason and logic.

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When you are trying to solve your own problems, a range of different factors (e.g. your emotions, your past experiences and your specific hopes and fears) are added to the equation.

As a result, the decision making process is much more complicated and finding a solution to the problem becomes much more difficult.

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Recently, I have been trying to come up with some tactics to help me deal with problems because curling up in a ball and having a minor existential breakdown wasn’t proving to be the most effective solution.

I think that one of the best ways to deal with present problems is put them into perspective by reflecting on problems that you have faced in the past.

Most problems tend to be much less intimidating in hindsight.

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If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out some of my other posts. For more blog posts and drawings, you can also follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

The Story Of My First Ever Date.

When I was eight, I went on a date with a boy named Alex.

Alex was nine.

I was quite nervous and excited, as most people tend to be on their first date with an older man.

At the time, I thought that Alex was very cool because he had a pair of Spiderman sunglasses which he wore all the time, even when it was cloudy.

He also owned a sick pair of wheels in the form of a scooter and I therefore assumed that he was the kind of guy who could whisk me off into the sunset – or as close to sunset as we could get before his legs got tired.

I had also once witnessed Alex do a wheelie on his scooter and he hadn’t been wearing a helmet or elbow pads at the time, which was exactly the display of death-defying daredevilry that really got my heart racing.

Looking back, I now realise that my perception of Alex was slightly warped.

In reality, Alex probably looked a bit like this:

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But, to eight year old me, he was a practically a god on two wheels.

img_0087As far as I was concerned, I had bagged myself an absolute stud and, as a result, I had high expectations our date.

However, once we actually sat down together, it quickly became apparent that we had absolutely nothing in common.

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After 10 minutes of uncomfortable silence, Alex cracked.

img_0084I hadn’t been expecting to get engaged 10 minutes into my first ever date.

I thought that things were potentially moving a bit fast but I was new to the world of dating and didn’t really understand how things worked so I just assumed that this was the natural rate at which the majority of relationships progressed.

I reasoned that organising a wedding would give us something to talk about and obviously didn’t realise that there were other ways of escaping an awkward silence than committing myself to a lifetime of matrimony.

We recruited Alex’s friend, Derek, to conduct the ceremony and wrote the word ‘priest’ on his head in Sharpie to make things feel a bit more official.

img_0080-1-e1521363834820.jpgAs a result, our wedding ceremony was a bit unorthodox.img_0089

Towards the end of the ceremony, Derek asked us if we promised to love each other for all eternity.

Alex said that he swore on his Blue Eyes White Dragon Yugioh card which, according to him, was his most prized possession.

He told me that it was one of the best Yugioh cards in existence and that he had been forced to go to some serious measures to acquire it.

For a while, I entertained myself by imagining the noble and chivalrous deeds that my new husband had undertaken in order to obtain the card.

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However, as is often the case in life, the reality of the situation did not exactly match up to my expectations – it turned out that Alex had forged a number of fake Yugioh cards and swapped them with another boy in exchange for the Blue Eyes White Dragon card.

Our marriage disintegrated pretty rapidly from there.

I decided that I could not possibly be wed to such a corrupt and soulless man and decided to annul the marriage there and then.

Alex consequently asked me for his gummy ring back so I took off the ring and ate it right in front of his disbelieving face.

It remains, to this day, the most badass thing that I’ve ever done.

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out some of my other posts. For more blog posts and drawings, you can also follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

It’s Almost Valentine’s Day So Here Is a Post About Love.

In our complex world filled with political upheaval and relentless technological innovation, love is seen as the one ultimate universal truth – it is something that we can all experience regardless of who we are or where we come from.

However, for something that is often portrayed as the purest thing in existence, love is incredibly confusing.

This is especially relevant when it comes to the process of finding love.

Dating in the modern era often feels like playing a highly tactical strategic game – a game in which you assume the other person is adhering to the same set of rules as you when in fact they are following a rule book which they have devised for themselves.

The confusion is enhanced by the fact that nowadays a lot of communication is done through technological devices, something which eliminates non-verbal signals, making it harder to decipher what another person is feeling.img_0058

I think that dating was probably more straightforward in the olden days when the hot guy in town would fall deeply in love with you before declaring his profound feelings in an elaborate display of affection.

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(Just to clarify, my perception of the past has originated from studying highly accurate historical documents such as The Complete Works of Jane Austen).

Nowadays, romantic declarations tend to be quite underwhelming in comparison.

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Unfortunately, an online message containing the words ‘Netflix and Chill’ doesn’t quite carry the sentimental weight of carefully composed sonnet.

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out some of my other posts. For more blog posts and drawings, you can also follow me on Facebook, Twitterand Instagram.

How Not To Take A Compliment.

I am not very good at accepting compliments.

My brain doesn’t know how to process them which is silly because receiving a compliment should be a relatively simple process:

1. Receive compliment.
2. Thank person who gave you the compliment.
3. Enjoy boost in self-esteem produced by compliment.

However, I tend to be quite self-critical and therefore I sometimes struggle to align compliments with my vision of myself.

As a result, whenever I receive a compliment, I tend to freak out and do everything in my power to deflect it.

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I am trying to get better at handling compliments by reframing how I perceive them.

After all, a compliment is basically a verbal gift.

If someone bought you a physical gift, refusing to accept it and saying ‘no this is not right for me TAKE IT BACK’ would be incredibly rude.

Therefore, even if you don’t 100% agree with a compliment, you should just accept it anyway – out of respect for the person giving the compliment and also yourself.

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out some of my other posts. For more blog posts and drawings, you can also follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

The Problem With Inspirational Quotes.

In the past, religion was a much more prominent part of society and the majority of people put their faith in an ethereal being that existed outside of themselves.

For the most part, people believed that the amount of control that they had over what happened to them was limited because their life was ultimately shaped by external forces.

Nowadays, due to scientific discoveries and technological advances, fewer people believe in a greater power or all-seeing omniscient entity.

Today, society is much more individualistic and we are encouraged to believe entirely in ourselves, a trend that is fuelled by widespread distribution of inspirational quotes on the internet.

Instead of looking outward for validation, we are more likely to look inward.

Some people find this empowering.

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However, it can also be quite overwhelming.

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Although I think that self-belief is a positive thing in many ways, I sometimes find that relying on myself to be the sole engineer of my own success can cause me to put a lot of pressure on myself.

I sometimes feel underqualified to deal with the task of leading my own life as if whoever is responsible for bestowing the gift of life forgot to include the instruction manual when they gave one to me.

I often try to be more proactive and make plans in an attempt to map out my future in a structured way.

Making plans makes me feel momentarily powerful as if I am the sort of person who can effectively navigate life and exert control over the things that happen to me.

However, what normally happens is that I end up sitting with the plan in front of me with absolutely no idea how to implement it – which is a bit like trying to use a map with faulty navigation equipment.

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I tend to make most of my life plans in January.

Like most people, every January, I decide that I am immediately going to reconstruct myself as a new healthier, happier, more productive human being.

For a brief period of time, I genuinely believe that I possess the ability to do this.

However, it soon becomes apparent that this is not the case.

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It turns out that making a change in your life requires more than temporary resolve.

It involves taking your initial motivation and transforming it into habit – it is a commitment to continue performing behaviours that may initially feel unnatural and are sometimes the complete opposite of those that you have exhibited your entire life until they become integrated into your daily routine.

It is easy to make a strong statement on January 1st, experience a setback a few weeks later and immediately assume that your entire self-improvement endeavour is doomed.

So this year, I am resolving to not to put too much pressure on myself, accept that setbacks are part of the process and to remember all that I can really do is try my best to navigate life whilst attempting to be the most functional, together version of myself that I can be.

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to check out some of my other posts. For more blog posts and drawings, you can also follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.