Halloween is supposed to be the scariest day of the year.
However, I find it strangely calming.
I think this is because everyday life tends freak me out on a regular basis and, at least at Halloween, I have legitimate reason to feel this way.
Creatures such as ghosts, vampires, werewolves and witches are specifically designed to induce a sense of fear and anxiety and it is acceptable to be afraid of them.
It is less acceptable to be afraid of receiving a phone call from an unknown user ID.
To celebrate Halloween, here are four everyday things that scare me more than any ghost, vampire, werewolf or witch ever could.
As a fully-grown adult, I am expected to manage my own finances which is unfortunate really because I understand money about as well as I understand supernatural forces.
Just to clarify, I’d probably have a better chance of banishing an evil spirit from my house than I would completing a tax return form.
Fortunately, I have come up with some techniques to help me wrap my mind around my finances.
Unfortunately, these techniques aren’t very effective.
My current tactic for dealing with my student debt is pretending that it doesn’t exist which is extremely counter-productive.
Because it does exist.
And it’s going to be haunting me for years…
2. Public Speaking
Sometimes, the fact that I am scared of public speaking makes me feel like a bit of a wimp.
People are scared of vampires, zombies and other Halloween creatures because they are legitimately dangerous – they either want to drink your blood, eat your brains or cause you some other form of significant bodily harm.
The only scary thing about public speaking is the collective judgement of others.
Unfortunately, the idea of being negatively judged by multiple people causes me to experience a paralysing fear that can be equated to the abject horror that Frodo Baggins felt when looking into the eye of Sauron.
People often tell me that the way to conquer my fear of public speaking is to approach the situation with a positive attitude and visualise success.
However, whenever I try these visualisation techniques, I just end up unearthing the ghosts of all the previous times that I messed up on stage.
Modern dating is terrifying, predominantly because it is so confusing.
Technological advancements mean that a lot of communication isn’t done face to face.
As a result, when you first start dating someone, most of your time is spent desperately trying to figure out what the other person is thinking.
Unfortunately, no two people think in exactly the same way and therefore trying to understand what another person is thinking through the context of your own thought processes is impossible.
For a lot of people, communicating with a potential partner is a bit like receiving messages from another dimension.
Sometimes, you don’t get anything back at all.
4. The Future
The future is scary because it is a complete unknown.
We can attempt to exert some level of control over the future by planning ahead but, for the most part, it is impossible to predict what is going to happen.
Some people find this exciting.
I find it absolutely terrifying.
I do not currently have a very strong sense of identity.
In fact, Halloween is pretty much the only time of year when I actually have a solid idea of who I am.
Therefore, when somebody asks me who I am going to be in the future, my brain suffers a system malfunction and completely shuts down and I have to find a way to actively remove myself from the conversation.
Whenever I can manage to haul myself out of my own narcissistic, self-absorbed, millennial mind bubble for a few minutes, I also get scared about the future of mankind and the planet.
There is no need to invest in a horror movie when you can get the same effect by simply turning on the TV.
I honestly don’t know how we all get out of bed in the morning…